Eight years ago was the last time I drank the CrossFit Kool-Aid. I decided to go back as part of my “build the life I want” journey. Initially, my intention was to get toned, fit and feel good about my body. After leaving class, I realized that wasn’t really the reason I needed to sign up for a membership. It was the mental strength that comes with doing something like this that had me hooked.
CrossFit has this way of pushing you to what feels like the maximum capacity of your mind and body. It seems like all I have ever heard about is the emphasis on sharing what happens with our bodies and less on what happens with our minds during CF.
I was shocked at how much I had to push myself through these workouts. Especially because I remember going ham… and I vaguely remember it being a blissful experience. This time, the internal dialog that usually comes in whispers turned into a screaming match. It brought an awareness of how small I have been keeping myself and how long this dialog has had time to manifest into toxic mindless habits.
There is a stark reality between where I am and where I want to be. Which… if I’m being honest, I’ve known for a while. Low Key I’ve been trying to figure out how to change my mindset in a way that works for me. It wasn’t until now that I realized there is a connection between pushing myself physically and excelling mentally.
I work with a healer, Robin Reid, regularly. We work in the same way people work with coaches and therapists. We work on intuitive healing with a focus on life purpose. Through her exercises, I have become more aware of the way my body presents messages through internal sensations.
So how does this relate to everything I have shared so far?
After the first day of CF, I felt this need to vomit… it lasted for three days. I chalked it up to the residual effects of working out harder than I have in a while. After 24-hours, I began asking myself, “What does this mean?” I didn’t feel ill… on the contrary, I felt healthy and energetic. I began to realize it felt like I was attempting to symbolically throw up. Looking for a way to articulate this to Robin, I shared the image of a snake regurgitating an egg. She asked, “What do you feel might “hatch” when the egg is released?”
It feels like so much more than one ideal.
It’s the confidence to expand mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s in the act of releasing years’ worth of shit I’ve internalized. It’s the courage to write the words and tell my stories. It’s creating a working environment that attracts a waiting list of individuals who want to work with us. It’s teaching others how to lead from the heart. It’s exploring the world with our girls and creating a family life that is full of enriching experiences.
All of this will be possible because of how I plan to use the mental strength that will be developed through CrossFit.
… … …
When I did CrossFit eight years ago, I had no kids, no husband, and no business. I lived a vibrant social life. I was excelling in many areas of my life until I wasn’t. I went down a long path of darkness and healing to get to this phase of my life. So it’s interesting to experience CF from this place; to consciously make an effort to use the fuel in a more dynamic way.
It feels important to document this milestone. A pivotal moment in the cultivation of who I am
🎶 Flavor by Maren Morris
